RULES FOR A
SECRET SOCIETY

Try to avoid recruiting blabbermouths. The whole point of a secret society is no one knows about it; you can't have some yahoo going down to the shops and buying a cheese and onion pasty in his sacrificial robes.

No matter how much they pester you, don't allow the members to design their own masks and horns. It will result in the Brotherhood designing bigger and bigger combos until they can't pass through doors safely.

Remember to order the taxis a good hour before the end of the night. Nothing makes the fraters more agitated than hanging around making chitchat while waiting for their transport home.

Make sure you draw up a list of rules; otherwise, things get chaotic pretty quickly. In my experience, the top of the list should be, 'No running in the corridors.

There is only one high priest, and what he says goes. This isn't a democracy.

Sacrifices are a tricky thing to get right. If it were up to the members, they would have one every week. Try to keep it to a monthly treat and discourage any talk of drinking blood to remain eternally young.

To achieve the best chanting, it's a good idea to have a weekly practice session.

Make sure your robes aren't dry-clean only. It's hard enough getting rid of various stains without having to answer difficult questions at the dry cleaners.

Don't get too attached to the goat. All you can do is make sure he's comfortable until he is required.